Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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