It's Friday. Sex?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
