Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
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I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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