Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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