Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
