There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I want a musical about memes.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
