yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
