no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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