I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize