Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize