I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
