I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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