none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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