Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
