She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
