the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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