saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
