so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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