I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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