i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
