She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
