Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
