u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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