I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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