Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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