Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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