i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
