I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
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The beers last night were like the tears from god
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
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If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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