I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Too much gin, very little bucket
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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