oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
nutella sex= disaster
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize