forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
