Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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