Whod you bang
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
