honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize