I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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