God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
