At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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