oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
