using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
