the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
