well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
