Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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