shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
