i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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