why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
