:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
as a side note pls kill me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
