I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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