Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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