Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it hurts more in the daytime
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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