Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
