I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize