You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
