what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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