the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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