and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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