I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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