Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
