hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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