I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
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The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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