So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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