She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
