i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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