So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
